Babywise was me. I followed it like a spiritual test. But when my daughter wouldn’t fit the schedule, I thought I was failing God.
Gary Thomas’s Sacred Parenting helped. It shows how God shapes the parent through all of it.
Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel stood out to me when I was expecting. It’s about showing kids the same grace we get from God instead of piling on rules right away. Helped me stay calmer during feedings and late nights.
We started keeping a short list of simple prayers for our baby on the fridge so my husband and I could grab one quick without overthinking it.
Expecting Better. That one calmed things down in our house when all the pregnancy worries hit.
Might be worth starting there before the baby books.
I picked up Boundaries with Kids/Teens and Love and Logic, and those core ideas about setting boundaries and letting logical consequences play out have been helpful with my little ones.
Not all of it though. Love and Logic does get extreme in places.
Has anyone else found this approach works with young kids?
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With little ones, it works, but in a smaller, gentler version. The part that clicked for us was offering two choices: “red cup or blue cup?” or “shoes first or coat first?”
The consequences part is where I’d slow down with under-threes. Their little brains can’t connect a consequence that comes an hour later, so it has to be immediate and small, but still calm. Toy gets thrown, toy goes up on the shelf for a bit, done. And some “natural” consequences aren’t allowed to play out, like the street or the stove.
There’s an early childhood version, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, that scales things down for the 0 to 6 range. The little “uh-oh” redirect is gentle enough for a one-year-old.
What helped me most was pairing it with the grace books others mentioned upthread: empathy first, then the consequence, never the consequence with an edge in my voice (see this thread). The Lord disciplines the ones He loves, and the love part is supposed to come through louder than the lesson.
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Sleep made the biggest difference in our home.
We read Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Marc Weissbluth, and it felt like God answering a prayer. Our pastor’s wife once said a well-rested child can receive what you’re trying to teach them.
I learned the hard way that sleep begets sleep. I figured my daughter would crash once she got tired enough, but the more overtired she got, the harder it was for her to fall asleep.
Aside from sharing the gospel, establishing healthy sleep might be one of the most loving things we can do for them.
The book is massive though. Read the parts for your baby’s current age.
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Tending the Heart of Virtue by Vigen Guroian and The Enchanted Hour by Meghan Cox Gurdon.
They focus more on shaping imagination and virtue as kids get older than on the baby stage you’re entering, so there’s not much on actual baby care. But they cover creating a home where faith and wonder start early, which fits with what you’re looking for.
Henci Goer’s The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth is worth grabbing now. It helped me feel way more prepared going into labor.
For baby care, the actual day-to-day stuff, Dr. Sears worked best. Since he’s a Christian pediatrician, the practical advice lines up with a faith-centered approach without being preachy.
Trust your pediatrician and your gut. That’s the short version.
One caution as you browse the Christian shelf: be careful with Babywise and To Train Up a Child. The American Academy of Pediatrics raised concerns about Babywise’s rigid feeding schedules after reports of babies not gaining enough weight. To Train Up a Child has been linked to several tragic cases of severe abuse.
If a book ever tells you to ignore your baby’s hunger cues or your own instincts, go back to the short version.