Every question I’ve asked has been about me: am I too vain, or am I secretly proud of being plain?
Then Dorcas came to mind (Acts 9), and the widows standing around Peter holding up the tunics and coats she had sewn for them. All her effort with clothing went to others, not herself, and that’s what they remembered her for.
I’m not sure yet how that plays out for me, but I suspect some of my closet angst would ease if more of that energy pointed outward.
Caring about how you dress doesn’t make you self-obsessed, at least not automatically. Vanity is about excessive pride over appearance, not just putting on something nice for church or any other gathering.
When I get dressed for church, I’m honoring the gathering and the God we’re there to worship. That’s a world away from the self-absorbed preening Scripture warns against.
The modesty verses seem more about not flaunting wealth than showing skin. That changes how I read the whole question.
Dressing simply feels different from dressing up because you want people to notice. Different heart behind it.
A wine analogy works for me. You can enjoy a glass without becoming a slave to it, and the same goes for looking put together.
The problem is when you need that external validation to feel okay about yourself. Once you’re dependent on other people’s approval of how you look, vanity has you.
Respecting the people and the moment you’re showing up for is one thing. Admiring yourself in the process is different.
One person gets dressed for church without a second thought about how they look. Another wears the same outfit and spends the whole service mentally accepting compliments.
Neglecting yourself can turn into its own pride. When we deliberately ignore social norms to stand out, we’re still making a statement about ourselves, in the opposite direction.
Christ spoke to this directly. When you fast, don’t look gloomy- don’t broadcast your spirituality through your appearance.
Both vanity and deliberate unkemptness can pull the focus right back onto ourselves.
‘Letting yourself go’ means completely different things from one culture to the next. Being unshaven is normal in one place and disrespectful in another.