# Marriage Counseling for Christians? **URL:** \ **Category:** Christian Dating\ **Created:** [September 14, 2026, 5:08am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649 "2026-09-14T05:08:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Coffe\_and\_Christ](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/coffe_and_christ/32/149_2.png) [@Coffe\_and\_Christ](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Coffe_and_Christ)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2026, 5:47am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/21 "2026-09-25T05:47:08Z")
Scheduling was our wall too. Weekly hour slots with three kids and my shift work never held, and we dropped out twice before trying anything else. What finally worked was the intensive format, two or three days straight instead of an hour a week for a year. It packs 25-30 hours into a long weekend. Higher upfront cost, but one bigger bill was doable when a permanent Tuesday night never was. Couples who do them often say one weekend gave more insight than six months of weekly therapy. Six hours a day of sitting in it is hard. Decent ones schedule short follow-ups afterward so the agreements don’t die once you’re home. On the church side, semester group programs are the cheapest real option I know of. Re|engage runs at a lot of churches now. Sixteen weeks, closed group with four or five other couples, about $150 per couple including workbooks. Childcare is usually provided. The facilitators aren’t licensed therapists but married couples trained on the curriculum. Affair fallout or constant blowups is intensive territory, while weekly and group work suits steady skill building. You don’t have to be in crisis to walk into one either. ---
**Author:** ![Long-flower](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/long-flower/32/979_2.png) [@Long-flower](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Long-flower)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2026, 8:08am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/22 "2026-09-25T08:08:52Z")
> [@Pollama](#): > > My husband won’t go anyway, but even if I somehow got him through the door, we don’t have the income for it. I’m so sorry you’re carrying this. Wanting help for your marriage while feeling like both the money and your husband are standing in the way is a heavy, lonely place to be. The door isn’t closed. A few options that haven’t come up yet in this thread: **Check for an Employee Assistance Program (EAP).** If either of you works for a medium or large employer, look in the benefits paperwork or ask HR. Many EAPs offer a few free, confidential counseling sessions a year, and they often cover spouses and household members too. A lot of people never realize they have one. **Community mental health centers** usually charge on a sliding scale based on income. They may not advertise as Christian, but many of their counselors are believers, and you can simply ask on the first call how they handle clients’ faith. **Open Path Collective** is a nonprofit network of licensed therapists who agree to see lower-income clients at reduced rates, often a fraction of the usual fee. You can filter by location or telehealth, and some counselors on there openly integrate faith. Praying for you both, that God opens a way you can’t see yet and softens your husband’s heart in His timing. ---
**Author:** ![solebricks](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/solebricks/32/951_2.png) [@solebricks](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/solebricks)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2026, 2:32pm UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/23 "2026-09-25T14:32:22Z")
Ask around your church for actual names, people who helped someone you trust. That might save you some of the trial-and-error. Finding a good therapist is its own whole process. I’m in the middle of it right now and it’s exhausting. You try someone, realize they’re not the right fit, start over. Same with pastors. Some don’t share your values, or some aren’t trustworthy in the first place. Personal recommendations at least narrow the field a little. ---
**Author:** ![NasisHere](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/n/67e7ee/32.png) [@NasisHere](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/NasisHere)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 9:45am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/24 "2026-09-29T09:45:47Z")
Fit is everything. “Go to counseling,” as if you can pick any name off a list and magic happens. No. My husband and I sat through two of them who were nice enough and qualified enough but wrong for us before we landed on someone who understood what we were asking for. A licensed marriage counselor who’s Christian and comfortable with spiritual counseling. We pay out of pocket every single visit, because apparently insurance has decided marriages aren’t worth covering. Does anyone else feel like the church oversimplifies this whole process? ---
**Author:** ![ThreeDoors](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/threedoors/32/1153_2.png) [@ThreeDoors](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/ThreeDoors)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 10:39pm UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/25 "2026-09-29T22:39:06Z")
Pastoral counseling and marriage counseling aren’t the same thing. Most pastors are trained in spiritual guidance and scripture. Licensed marriage counselors spend years learning specific clinical techniques. Different skill sets. I watched a couple I know go through pastoral counseling and come out worse than they went in. The pastor had nothing but good intentions, which almost makes it sting more. Pastors can help with plenty of things, but I think we should be more careful about drawing a line between spiritual support and professional therapy. ---
**Author:** ![Century](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/century/32/1128_2.png) [@Century](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Century)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2026, 12:53am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/26 "2026-09-30T00:53:35Z")
> [@NasisHere](#): > > Does anyone else feel like the church oversimplifies this whole process? I think ‘go to counseling’ sometimes gets said the way ‘I’ll pray for you’ does. It’s sincere, but it’s where the conversation ends instead of where it starts. You might sit through two wrong counselors first. Two misses can cost a couple hundred dollars and a lot of hope. Most counselors will do a free 15 to 20 minute consult call before you book a full session. Once we started using those, we stopped paying to find out someone wasn’t a fit. On the call we’d describe what we were looking for, including the spiritual side, and ask how they’d run a session like that. I also wish churches would follow the advice with something concrete. If a pastor tells a couple to get counseling, the church could keep a short list of counselors that couples in the congregation have been helped by. Passing along your counselor’s name to the next couple who asks might save them the two wrong ones. ---
**Author:** ![ravensfedelijah](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/ravensfedelijah/32/1438_2.png) [@ravensfedelijah](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/ravensfedelijah)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2026, 9:09am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/27 "2026-10-04T09:09:05Z")
So we went through insurance. I called and asked specifically for providers who list Christian counseling on their profiles, and a few names came back that took our plan. Copay was lower than expected. We could also do video sessions from the car on lunch breaks, which solved the childcare problem we kept running into. The other thing that helped was our counselor asking us to each bring one verse a week that spoke to whatever we were working through. It kept things tied to scripture without feeling forced. ---
**Author:** ![Yeah2u](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/y/e47c2d/32.png) [@Yeah2u](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Yeah2u)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2026, 11:46am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/28 "2026-10-08T11:46:26Z")
I was the reluctant one, and my reasons weren’t good. For two years I told my wife we needed biblical counsel, not secular psychology, and it sounded spiritual enough that nobody pushed back. Our counselor asked me in the first solo intake what outcome I was hoping for, and I heard myself say “for her to see it my way.” That one sentence did more for our marriage than six months of homework. ---
**Author:** ![Heismylord](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/heismylord/32/975_2.png) [@Heismylord](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Heismylord)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2026, 5:42am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/29 "2026-10-12T05:42:23Z")
I want to push back on the free church-based option. Our associate pastor counseled us. He was kind and wise, but he also saw us every Sunday and sat on the same committee my husband served on. I noticed I was editing myself and softening things. Maybe ask upfront who else will know what and whether they’re held to confidentiality the way a licensed counselor is. If there’s any fear or intimidation in the home, joint sessions can make things less safe. A good counselor screens for that separately before you’re ever put in a room together. ---
**Author:** ![Armor\_Of\_God](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/armor_of_god/32/37_2.png) [@Armor\_Of\_God](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Armor_Of_God)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2026, 7:36pm UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/30 "2026-10-14T19:36:57Z")
Our church pairs newlyweds with a mentor couple. Married 30+ years, it’s free, and we meet for coffee once a month. It’s more like casual check-ins than therapy, but it caught stuff early before it turned into something big. ---
**Author:** ![PsalmistPete](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/psalmistpete/32/1320_2.png) [@PsalmistPete](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/PsalmistPete)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2026, 7:09pm UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/31 "2026-10-16T19:09:44Z")
The conflict resolution piece was the big deal. We went in expecting the finances talk and time management stuff. We got all that and it was good, but learning how to fight fair has paid off more than anything else. Still working on the money conversations, though. ---
**Author:** ![narthex](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/narthex/32/1423_2.png) [@narthex](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/narthex)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2026, 7:33am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/32 "2026-10-19T07:33:50Z")
Trial sessions are normal. One or two appointments to see if a counselor clicks with you before you commit to anything. Couples who come in early, while the problems are still small, have way more to work with than the ones who wait until they’re practically signing divorce papers. ---
**Author:** ![Pureprobation](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/user_avatar/forum.victoriousinprayer.com/pureprobation/32/1252_2.png) [@Pureprobation](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/u/Pureprobation)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2026, 1:47am UTC](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649/33 "2026-10-25T01:47:16Z")
No one mentions the homework. The sessions are the easy part. The hard part is Tuesday afternoon when you’re both tired and need to practice that new communication skill, but you don’t. My grandmother used to say marriage is like tending a garden every day, not just when company is coming over. We went a month or two without sessions and the backslide was obvious. The therapist can give you all the tools, but using them when you’re exhausted and already in the middle of an argument feels different. If one person has unresolved childhood stuff affecting how they handle emotions, marriage books won’t help much. We needed individual sessions along with the couples work. Through it all, seeking the Lord daily matters most. He’s shown me things about my husband I never could have seen on my own. [Previous page](https://forum.victoriousinprayer.com/t/marriage-counseling-for-christians/1649.md?page=1)