Have you tried the spiritual gifts test? It could help make sense of this calling.
My father had it too. He was a tough man, but he wept in every conversation about Christ. He could see the world’s suffering through God’s eyes.
The church has discussed this for over 1,500 years. In the 3rd and 4th centuries, monks like Evagrius of Pontus wrote extensively about what they called ‘the gift of tears’ (donum lacrimarum).
They saw it as a unique spiritual blessing, different from ordinary emotional reactions.
Your body is responding physiologically to feeling completely safe. Prayer is probably the one part of your day when your body moves into rest mode. So don’t fight it.
Tears can be spiritual and still need care. If it feels uncontrollable or if you feel numb for the rest of the day, that matters. Maybe talk to a pastor or a counselor (God uses both). You don’t have to carry it alone.
So true. I think that’s what makes it so disarming, you don’t exactly plan for it. It just happens. Personally, I’m the type who can hold it together through an entire sad movie, stub my toe and barely flinch, but the second I bow my head and start talking to God, absolute mess. Every time. My family probably thinks I’m having some kind of crisis in there, but honestly it’s the opposite. It’s the one moment where I’m not pretending I have it all figured out.
Some people feel that closeness through silence or worship. Then there’s folks like me who apparently need to water the carpet every evening. But however it shows up, it’s real, and it’s God meeting us exactly where we are. That vulnerability before Him is such a sacred thing.
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