Like Ruth gleaning in the fields, I often search for community within our church walls. Does any of your churches have a singles ministry? What works about it? At 36, I’ve noticed that many congregations seem to have a gap between youth ministry and family life, leaving single adults wandering in what feels like a spiritual wilderness.
While I’m blessed with a strong personal walk with the Lord, I yearn for fellowship with others who understand this unique season of life - those of us who are whole in Christ yet walking solo in many aspects of life. Just as the early church gathered in homes to share meals and life together, I believe there’s immense value in creating spaces where single believers can support and encourage one another beyond the typical Sunday service.
I’m curious if any of your churches have found ways to minister specifically to singles, not as a matchmaking service, but as a genuine community where we can grow together in faith. Like branches of the same vine, we’re all part of the body of Christ, and I believe our churches grow stronger when every member feels connected and nurtured.
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I was blessed when our church started viewing singles ministry not as a matchmaking service but as a genuine discipleship opportunity.
We began with simple weekly dinners where singles of all ages could share meals and life together, which naturally evolved into more profound Bible studies and service projects. As you mentioned about Ruth, we created spaces where people could learn from each other’s experiences and wisdom, whether never married, divorced, or widowed. The key was focusing on being complete in Christ first while building an authentic community that acknowledges both the challenges and gifts of singleness.
At our church (Grace Community), we’ve found that monthly potluck studies have created the authentic community you’re describing - it’s a place where singles can share meals and meaningful conversations about our faith journeys.
We meet on first Fridays for dinner and Bible study, focusing on topics like discipleship and growing our relationship with God rather than treating it as a matchmaking service. While finding your place as a single adult in church can be difficult, these intentional gatherings help bridge that gap and create genuine fellowship with others in similar seasons of life.
Having found deep connection in our church’s 30-40s singles ministry, where we gather weekly for Bible study and monthly potlucks, I’ve learned that meaningful relationships aren’t just about sharing the same relationship status but rather finding others who are walking a similar path in life and faith, especially when the age ranges align naturally to create authentic bonds through shared life experiences.
Our church has a similar setup - just a young adult group that goes up to early 30s, but nothing precisely for singles beyond that.
While I totally get the desire to find ‘the one’ in church settings, I’ve learned that God works in unexpected ways that aren’t always what we plan! I love how you mentioned Ruth - she wasn’t actively hunting for Boaz, but God brought them together while she was living her life and serving faithfully
I deeply resonate with your experience of feeling caught between youth groups and family ministries. Like you, I’ve noticed how many churches unintentionally create this gap, leaving singles to navigate their faith journey in isolation despite being surrounded by fellow believers.
While my church doesn’t have a dedicated singles ministry, I’ve discovered meaningful connections by starting a weekly dinner gathering in my home where single Christians from several local churches come together for fellowship, Bible study, and authentic conversation. Perhaps we could all be more proactive in creating these spaces, just as you mentioned the early church gathering in homes, rather than waiting for formal programs to emerge.
Singles groups at church can be so… awkward… especially in smaller congregations… It’s like everyone feels this unspoken pressure… to pair up… Young adult groups feel more natural… more organic… There’s no expectation that you need to find ‘the one’ right there… And imagine the discomfort… when a potential match doesn’t work out… and you still see each other every Sunday…
The singles ministry at my church has been such a blessing. They really focus on building genuine connections through fun activities - everything from casual game nights to group outings.
I love that they balance social events with spiritual growth through Bible studies and Sunday classes. What really touches my heart is how they make sure single parents can participate by providing childcare. It’s wonderful to see a church community that understands modern Christian singles have different needs and circumstances while keeping faith at the center.
Being single in church can feel isolating sometimes!
If your congregation is open to starting a singles ministry, that’s a blessing. It’s unfortunate that some church leadership can be hesitant about these gatherings, especially when they haven’t experienced the challenges of dating as a Christian today.
I love hearing about creative fellowship ideas like group dinners where people can connect naturally. Breaking bread together is a meaningful way to build genuine relationships in a comfortable setting. The key is creating spaces where singles can form authentic connections while staying true to their faith.
Being single after college feels like having a scarlet letter here. You can’t lead groups, join the board, or head up ministries unless you’re married - especially if you’re a single guy.
It’s pushing young people away when they can’t find partners. I’ve been here my whole life and love serving (I’m usually the one doing all the yard work and maintenance ), but this marriage-first mentality needs to change. Singles need to feel valued and included, not like there’s something wrong with them. I just hope we can create a more welcoming space for everyone, regardless of relationship status.
They’ll probably be thrilled (I mean, who doesn’t want to meet other believers, right?). My congregation doesn’t have anything like that (though I’ve been secretly hoping they’d start one), but I think it would be such a blessing!
Just imagine having a space where you can connect with others (and maybe find that special someone) while staying true to your faith. Of course, it works best when everyone’s around the same age (because, let’s be honest, that matters).
As a single believer, many churches aren’t fully embracing technology’s potential to bring unmarried Christians together.
When our congregation started hosting virtual book clubs, connecting singles from various local churches to discuss faith-centered books, it opened up meaningful conversations. I love how we can share our hearts and spiritual journeys from the comfort of our homes, free from the sometimes awkward dynamics of in-person singles events.
It’s been a blessing to build friendships with others who understand this season of life, and I think more churches should consider creating these digital spaces for connection.
A blessed approach that worked for our church was creating mentorship pairs between singles and married couples as if guided by guardian angels. This helped singles receive spiritual guidance and friendship while married members gained an understanding of the single’s experience, much like how angels watch over and guide us through different seasons.
It fostered a sense of inclusion and understanding across different life stages, reinforcing the idea that everyone is a valued part of the church community, each walking their divine path with angelic support.
We’ve seen such beautiful growth in our church family by embracing our single members within our mixed-age small groups rather than creating separate spaces for them.
It’s been heartwarming to watch singles find comfort and connection through sharing life with people of all ages and stages, learning from each other’s unique paths of faith. These precious relationships have blossomed into meaningful mentorships and deep friendships, showing us that God’s love flows through all of us, married or single, as we walk this path together.
), but this marriage-first mentality needs to change. Singles need to feel valued and included, not like there’s something wrong with them. 
I just hope we can create a more welcoming space for everyone, regardless of relationship status.