Your spouse yells at you or breaks things, and you’re scared in your own house. That’s abuse, and God doesn’t ask you to stay somewhere you’re being torn down.
That strong pull you keep feeling may be the Spirit answering what you’ve been praying for. Talk to a pastor or Christian counselor who takes abuse seriously (not all of them do). If you don’t have one, the National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you think through a plan. If you want more on that, this thread covers it: Marriage Counseling for Christians?