Maybe try this: pick one short verse about God keeping his people and read it out loud each morning. I started with something that simple.
It gave me a spot to land when the same old sins showed up again later in the day.
Paul wrote “wretched man that I am” in Romans 7 well into his ministry. He wasn’t exactly a guy who had it all wrapped up.
Maybe focusing on ‘am I saved’ isn’t the most helpful thing right now.
Pursuing God with a pure heart and loving the people around you, it sorts itself out over time? Matthew 24:13 says enduring to the end is what matters, not perfect certainty every moment.
God sees whether you’re trying or going through the motions. And being honest with yourself about where you’re at, even if it’s not great, that honesty counts for something.
Romans 1-8 lays out the whole justification-by-faith process. When my own assurance felt shaky, sitting with those chapters steadied me.