This is the most important question in my life right now and I need some honest input. How can a person actually be sure they’re saved and going to heaven when they die? Jesus himself said not everyone calling him “Lord” will make it in and even demons believe God exists.
I keep wrestling with the same sins over and over again, no matter how much I pray or dig into Scripture. Things like lust, angry outbursts, complaining, and sexual stuff. I feel like I’m barely making any progress at all. Am I actually born again if these things still have such a grip on me, or am I just fooling myself into thinking I have real faith?
My hope tank is pretty much empty right now.
17 Likes
I want to point something out about the Matthew 7 passage you mentioned, because I think you’re reading it backwards. The people Jesus turns away there march up confidently: “Didn’t we prophesy? Didn’t we cast out demons?” Their certainty was built on their own resume. You’re lying awake at night asking whether you’re fooling yourself. That’s a different posture. Same with the demons in James. You grieve over your sin and you beg God to change you. Demons do neither of those things. I went through a stretch like this. Same cycle of lust and anger, same feeling that I’d prayed the same prayer a thousand times. What started to shift things was reading Romans 7 slowly. Paul describes doing the thing he hates and failing to do the good he wants. If that’s his experience, the fact that you’re still fighting means something. Dead people don’t fight.
You say you’re barely making progress, and I’d ask what you’re measuring against. If assurance depends on getting a clean scorecard, it will never come for you. 1 John says these things were written so that you may know you have eternal life, and the tests John gives are things like loving other believers and not wanting to keep sinning. Your salvation rests on what Christ did. Your changing life is evidence of that, and evidence can be messy, slow, and still real. Lust and anger hang on a lot longer when you fight them in private. Find one person you trust and tell them specifics, not a vague “I struggle with stuff.” It did more to loosen them than years of praying alone.
1 Like
Making progress was never what saved me. For a long time I measured my salvation by how victorious I felt that week. I went back to Jesus’ promise that whoever comes to him will never be cast out, and to 1 John 5:13, which was written so believers could know they have eternal life.
Repeated sin also needs action. I confessed specific patterns to a mature Christian I trusted. Then I made changes around the situations that fed anger and sexual temptation. The struggle stuck around for a long time. But secrecy started losing its grip on me.
8 Likes
Being born again doesn’t make the battle go away. Galatians 5:17 talks about the Spirit and our sinful desires pulling against each other, so being in a fight is normal for a believer. What matters is that you keep bringing your sin into the light and turning back to Christ.
You also don’t have to make yourself feel terrible to prove you’ve repented. Shame keeps you staring inward, checking over and over whether you’re sincere enough. Repentance looks outward. Name the sin and receive God’s mercy. Then take whatever the next faithful step is, even if you’ve taken that same step a hundred times already. Talk to a pastor or elder who knows you. When your hope tank is empty, your own judgment isn’t a reliable courtroom. Sometimes another believer has to help you tell the difference between conviction and despair.
1 Like
Look at your list. Lust, anger, complaining, sexual stuff. Complaining is sitting right there next to the things keeping you up at night. A conscience that tender about small things is what you get when a heart has been made alive aware of its own mess.
I don’t agree with the word “progress.” You’re measuring it in weeks, maybe months. Sanctification doesn’t show up on that scale. I spent years feeling the way you describe, and then I compared who I was at 25 with who I was at 35 and the difference was obvious, even though no single year had felt like a win. So ask whether you’re the same person you were five years ago.
Despair is fuel for exactly the sins you named. Discouragement turns into “what’s the point” and that’s when you give in to the thing you swore off. The enemy has every reason to keep you convinced you’re not saved, since a person who thinks they’re already lost stops fighting.
You said this is the most important question in your life right now. Notice that you’re asking it while still turned toward God.
1 Like
Comparing myself across a decade instead of a few months is what finally quieted my own doubts, because no single year ever felt like progress.
The fact that complaining made it onto a list next to lust says a lot, because a dead conscience would never flag that.
I tried tracking my spiritual progress week by week once. Every setback made it seem like nothing had changed. Comparing ourselves to sinless perfection always leads to despair, but looking at where we’re now versus a year or two ago, not last week, reveals changes that would otherwise slip by.
Progress also shows up in confessing faster and making fewer excuses when we do, plus being more willing to bring sin into the light instead of holding onto it. The evidence is messy and slow.
1 Like
The weeks-and-months line stung a little. That’s exactly the scale I ran on for about a decade. I kept a mental spreadsheet: good Tuesday, whole month written off by the 12th.
Your 25 versus 35 comparison is the part worth underlining. When I finally did that exercise, the list itself had changed. A couple of the old sins had loosened their grip without me noticing, and a couple of new ones had shown up that I’d been blind to before. The five-year test has a catch too; memory is a terrible witness. What made the difference visible for me was finding an old journal and being mildly embarrassed by the person writing in it.
2 Likes
The mental spreadsheet part is uncomfortably familiar. Especially how one bad day wipes out everything before it. I’ve been keeping books that only record the losses.
Hearing you ran on that scale for a decade and still came out the other side helps, though. The old journal idea is a good one too. I’ve a few boxes I’ve been avoiding for exactly that reason.
3 Likes
The direction matters. You could struggle your whole life and still be walking toward heaven if you keep turning back to face God.
He knows you won’t be sinless this side of eternity. But He wants you moving toward Him.
My mentor once told me that believing in Christ and clinging to His mercy, even when you feel utterly undeserving, is the mark of real faith. Think of the Gentile woman. No list of qualifications. But she came to Jesus anyway, with empty hands and nothing but desperate trust.