My grandmother always used to say, ‘If you’re gonna talk to God, don’t be surprised when He talks back.’ I came to faith not too long ago and I keep asking for some confirmation when I’m at a crossroads.
Are we allowed to ask God for a sign, or can relying on signs become a crutch?
Yes, it’s okay. I asked for signs constantly in my early years and started reading meaning into every song on the radio or license plate, before long it’s anxiety dressed up as faith.
Most of my crossroads questions were already answered in Scripture, or by a couple of mature believers I trusted.
Ask freely. A sign shouldn’t overrule Scripture or advice from people who know you well though, and ‘If this happens, I’ll do that’ can turn prayer into a bargain.
Yes, it’s okay to ask God for a sign. The crutch for me was wanting the sign so I could be finished with Him, so I try to keep that ask inside an ongoing conversation.
The part about your motive stood out to me. But once you’ve gotten the sign you asked for, or feel like you have, what does keeping that conversation going look like for you?
With specific requests, where does the bargaining start? Is it the “if” wording itself, or treating God like he owes us the answer we already picked out?
Wanting a sign just to be finished with God, yeah. A sign works best as part of a relationship, not the end of one.
Reading meaning into radio songs is so real, I once took a sappy love song as holy permission to text someone back.
I went through the same license plate phase. What got me out of it was Kevin DeYoung’s Do Something, a short book that argues God’s will for most of our choices is already in Scripture and the rest is wisdom plus freedom (see this thread).
When I was new I couldn’t tell who was wise and who just sounded confident.
It means the sign is just a starting point. Gideon got his fleece twice and still had to march out with 300 men… so after something lines up, I keep praying about it, test it against Scripture, run it by an honest friend, and thank Him.
The second one. ‘If’ shows up all over Scripture. Gideon’s fleece in Judges 6 is basically an if-statement and Jesus prays ‘if it is possible’ in Gethsemane.
Ask yourself whether you’d be okay with silence or a ‘no.’ If the only acceptable outcome is the one you’ve already chosen, that’s the bargain.
How do I tell when asking for confirmation turns into a way to avoid trusting Him? New to faith here.
It’s fine to ask for a sign and the risk is the letdown. You ask, nothing shows up or what shows up is muddy, and now you’re sitting there wondering if God ignored you.
Or it goes the other way. You get one, and then you start expecting Him to answer like that every time.
Asking for a sign is fine when it’s a big decision. A couple years ago my husband and I were praying about moving to a new state and buying a house. He asked God for something specific, that the year the state joined the US would show up that day.
Our lunch bill came to that exact number. Later his phone’s temperature got stuck on it too, even though it was way hotter outside.
The hardest part was telling a ministry leader who said God told him we shouldn’t move. It took more nerve than I thought to say we believed we’d already gotten a sign.
I think what matters when asking for a sign is whether we’re open to whatever answer comes back.
Gideon in Judges 6 just wanted to know it was the Lord calling him and not something else. That’s what John later calls testing the spirits, centuries earlier.
God was patient with him and gave him signs: fire from the rock, then the fleece, which Gideon asked for twice, first wet and then dry. My guess is that God knew Gideon would believe and obey once he had them. The Pharisees had already made up their minds.
For crossroads moments, the most useful verse I’ve found is Colossians 3:15: “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” The word “rule” is interesting. It has the idea of an umpire, the one who settles a dispute and gets the final say. If you’re stuck between two options and you don’t have peace about one of them, pay attention to that before you go looking for something outside yourself to confirm it.
Physical signs can be misread, and the enemy can work through them too. A lack of peace is a lot harder to fake.
Hundreds of times I’ve asked Him for direction. It’s okay to ask.
Give it time, the answers usually show up slowly. A verse in the daily readings, or something someone says at small group that sticks with me for days.
The clearest answer I’ve ever gotten came almost right after I finished praying about one struggle I couldn’t get past on my own. A thought settled in my mind and I couldn’t mistake it, exactly what I needed to hear.
So keep bringing Him the specific thing in front of you at a crossroads, then stay quiet long enough to listen.
I worry that not every ‘sign’ comes from God. I’ve had to admit that a sign I want badly enough (and I have wanted them that badly) could just give me false security and keep me on a path He never meant for me.
Providence more than signs for me. Ask God what He wants in a situation and He tends to lead you there over time through ordinary stuff, a door opening or closing or timing that lines up in a way you only notice looking back.
Your grandmother was right that He talks back. A lot of the time it’s in the weeks after you pray, not the minute you finish.
