What are the signs from God that someone is (or was) the one for you?
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The signs are usually pretty ordinary. Peace that holds up when things get hard, a person whose presence draws you closer to God.
If you have to strain to find a sign, that strain is your answer.
In my marriage, nothing felt forced. My prayer life got stronger, and the people whose judgment I trusted saw what I saw.
Be careful about calling a feeling a sign. Watch the fruit over a few months.
Consistency over time matters most! Honesty, humility, self-control, shared faith, handling conflict without manipulation or contempt⌠not one hidden soulmate youâre supposed to figure out through signs.
Some people matter for a season and thatâs all it was.
Money, where weâd live, kids, what our families expected⌠we could talk about ordinary stuff and none of it made either of us go quiet to keep things smooth. That was the sign I trusted.
When I caught myself shrinking I stopped calling it a sign from God.
For years I kept picking apart a past relationship trying to figure out where I went wrong. It had run its course, and I learned what I needed to from it. I donât think God wastes a season just because it didnât end at an altar.
Consistency only works if you give it time. I almost talked myself out of my spouse early on because there was no lightning bolt or spark. Somebody who kept showing up and handled conflict without contempt.
Being able to talk about money and kids without anyone going quiet was the sign I trusted too.
Ours was money too, my spouse and I ended up praying over our budget at the kitchen table without anyone tiptoeing.
Watching the fruit over a few months, jotting down what I notice each week. Makes the patience a lot easier to keep.
Yeah, I know that one⌠Iâve sat across from someone and watched the mood drop the second kids came up.
With your spouse though, did those conversations come up on their own or did one of you have to work up the nerve to bring up money and kids first?
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I brought up kids after church one Sunday because I was afraid we might want different things. We didnât settle everything that day but neither of us shut down or tried to give the answer the other wanted.
Money came up later when an unexpected car repair strained my budget.
God gave us the mind of Christ and his wisdom to make good choices, not a treasure map to one hidden soulmate.
I donât think he set aside one specific person for me. My spouse was probably one of several good options on my path, and same for him choosing me. If we hadnât picked each other we both would have found someone else.
Belonging to God and trusting Jesus as Savior comes first⌠Until thatâs settled, nothing else will feel right, not career or marriage or anything.
But once that foundation is there, asking Him to guide you toward a spouse is asking Him to show you where love as a choice is possible. Willing the good of another.
The match to Godâs word is the sign, thatâs it. Scripture already outlines what to look for in a spouse pretty plainly and you just compare how they live against that standard.
Discernment is already there if youâve been walking with God, acting on it is harder at least for me. Still working on trusting my gut when something feels off instead of second-guessing it.
One thing to look for is whether being with them makes obedience to God simpler or more complicated, especially when no one else is watching.
A friend kept calling her relationship âGodâs willâ while the person was pulling her away from church.
When someone tells you early on that God told them youâre their future spouse, remember He doesnât usually give one person the memo and leave the other out of the loop⌠That âwordâ (even a sincere one) turns into pressure fast.
Watch them on a bad day. Sick, tired, stressed, plans canceled. Our first long road trip told me plenty.
Anyoneâs lovely on a good Saturday.