The specific acts aren’t the real question here. Selfishness in the bedroom is what stands opposed to love, not hate.
Two things. No animals, no one outside your spouse. That’s where the actual biblical prohibitions land when you strip away everything else.
The real question is whether something degrades or harms your spouse. If yes, avoid it. If no, pray about it together and communicate. Say something when it doesn’t feel right, or when you sense God isn’t honored in the act.
Song of Solomon is good to look at here. It describes what God blesses in the marital bedroom in a lot more detail than people usually notice.
That communication part is harder than it sounds. Being comfortable enough to say ‘this doesn’t work for me’ out loud to the person you’re supposed to be most open with takes time to build. Years, sometimes.
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The absence of conviction is the signal.
My wife and I explore freely, and in all these years I have never once felt that check in my spirit about any of it. One man, one woman, mutual delight. That’s the framework, and the framework is the part Scripture spells out. The rest gets filled in by two people who are committed to each other and paying attention to the Spirit.
A lot of folks want a list. A yes column and a no column, so they never have to sit with the discomfort of discerning it themselves.
Everything inside the framework is between you, your spouse, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance in your specific relationship.
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Privacy. Keep the marriage bed between the two of you. No recording or sharing details with the group chat, and don’t joke about your spouse’s body unless they’ve said it’s okay.