Which books for Christian dating have changed your life or perspective? Anything that helped you find your spouse or even just helped you improve your dating?
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The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley made my dating life less of a mess, though it didnât lead me to my spouse or anything. Once we got serious we worked through 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright, and some were awkward to answer.
How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by John Van Epp got me to slow down and pay attention to how someone acts over months, not what they say early on. The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy and Kathy Keller isnât strictly a dating book, but it gave me a clearer picture of what I was supposed to be looking for.
The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas got me asking whether weâd serve God well together, and that question is a big part of how I ended up with my spouse. Boundaries in Dating by Cloud and Townsend is more practical stuff, how to say no, when to walk away.
What someone says early on versus how they act over a few months, which is Van Eppâs whole point. Did it help you catch patterns you wouldâve missed before, or was the bigger shift feeling okay with taking things slowly?
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A book can make dating less confusing without being the reason you ended up with your spouse.
You mentioned the awkward questions in Wrightâs book. Was it awkward because you were bringing up stuff youâd never talked about, or because you found out you disagreed on some of it?
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That âwould we serve God well togetherâ question filtered out a few people early on for me too.
Iâm only a few chapters into The Meaning of Marriage and I already get what you mean about it clarifying what to look for.
The âwhen to walk awayâ part of that book stuck with me most. Cloud and Townsend were the first I read who said flat out that you donât get points for staying in something unhealthy.
The chapter on not expecting dating to fix someoneâs character landed hard, since Iâd been treating a relationship like a mission field.
The Sacred Search is about aiming high and the other is about protecting yourself.
Did you read Boundaries in Dating before or after you met your spouse?
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